The Conversation

Author:Hill Harper
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin USA, Inc.

Honest communication is a matter of life or death.

SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION AND COMPATIBILITY

We all have some idea of what we are and are not open to when it comes to sex, and it’s good to communicate that with your partner. Over the years, several of my female friends have told me stories about dating men who wanted and accepted fellatio but refused to perform cunnilingus. For some, that was a deal breaker. They just couldn’t imagine spending another ten minutes in bed, let alone a whole lifetime, with someone who would not go down on them. I’ve had male friends who’ve expressed the same frustration with girlfriends who would not “return the favor.”

Some forms of compatibility will be revealed only during sex. More than a few of my friends have said, “Our bodies just fit well together,” when I’ve asked them what it is about their sexual life with their partner that makes it so fulfilling. But some things can be discussed beforehand.

The point is not to make a partner feel bad for what he or she wants or does, but to make sure that you both want and are willing to do the same things. Good sex is a healthy part of a good relationship. It’s understandable that a lot of people feel uncomfortable about their sexuality, because it’s not something that we’re taught how to speak about openly, directly, and in detail. In fact, it’s something that we spend a good part of our upbringing being taught not to talk about. But couples who treat sex as an important part of their relationship and strive to achieve the best sex life they possibly can are well on their way to a long-lasting relationship.

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